Saturday, March 11, 2006

updates and check-ins

For the past 45 minutes I've been working on updating my sidebar links. I find it impossible to get through all the blogs and so I was attempting to streamline the links by getting rid of any that haven't been updated in the past month. BUT--it's taking forever because I'm using the ol' copy and paste method. The code that I originally used doesn't show individual links...so I can't just go in and add or delete (or can I?). Also, I really like the *musing* code...and alas, I don't know how do add that if I start over.

Sometimes I feel like a computer genius--other times, like today, I feel my technological handicaps. Oy!

Anyhoo--
As for the "check-in"...I am realizing that I have been a very, very bad girl these past couple weeks. I only did my morning pages twice this week, partly because I've fallen out of the habit, and partly because I've needed more sleep lately. I just haven't had the time (or maybe I should say: made the time). I'm still struggling to kick this bug. I feel a million times better, but every time I get the least bit tired, I feel it trying to show its ugly head again. I usually get up at 5am to write...but lately I wake up with a sore throat and congested...and I'm beginning to realize that I need to take my body seriously. I guess I'm still recovering.

I have, however, decided NOT to beat myself up over my non-accomplishments. It only makes things worse. Anyway, even though I haven't been doing my morning pages as diligently as I would like to be, I am still writing, reading, blogging, thinking,and art-making. AW is never more than a half a thought away. Starting this week I am going to get back into the groove with my mp's. I do really enjoy them. Anyway, I'm headed to Chicago tomorrow--I think it will actually help my journal writing. A change of scene always seems to do that for me.

What I'm finding through AW is that I'm learning how to take care of myself and the artist within me. I am beginning to feel like a protective mother...and have started to nurture the aspects of myself that are in the most need. I put my hand out to shield myself from anything that could be potentially destructive to my artistic growth. I am protecting myself with love.

Lately I find myself becoming more aware of what I want and what I need to make it happen. Compassion? Yes, this week I have discovered compassion. In learning compassion for myself, I am learning how to clear a space for creative productivity.

This week feels like a definite turning point in the block I've been experiencing with writing. And as cheesy as this sounds, I'm learning how to love myself again. (oh god that sounded SO CHEESY!!!--I'm a GEEK! *lol*)....which is another thing--I've begun to allow myself space for play and creative thought. My world had become frightfully linear. It feels good to dismantle some of my old fears...and to let the river flow once again.

This week, for me, has been about giving myself creative space...and treating that space, both internally and externally, with love.

5 Comments:

Blogger Endment said...

"This week, for me, has been about giving myself creative space...and treating that space, both internally and externally, with love."

Great analysis --- sounds like you are following the Artist Way inspite of being ill.

Get well soon!

3:49 PM  
Blogger Dana said...

I didn't do my morning pages today, and I didn't even feel bad about it.

OK, I felt a little bad, but then I got over it.

10:37 PM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

i have also kind of
fallen off a bit with the morning pages and
well, some of the tasks too...
i feel the same way,
i am not going to beat myself up
about it or get discouraged
i am still doing and planning
and creating more than i ever have
before...
have a great trip
:)

12:31 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

ah, what a pleasure this was to read. i'm so glad to hear that you are not beating yourself up about the past. and i'm excited to hear that you're feeling motherly nurturing instincts towards yourself. at my best, this is how i treat myself as well. right on, girly!

9:25 PM  
Blogger digitalGoobie said...

The Girodet Exhibit looks amazing.. I wish I could visit it.

11:37 AM  

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